A simple seeker was slipping into a mood of overwhelming sorrow. Memories of her first child’s lost battle with a rare form of cancer, before he was old enough to understand what possible purpose his suffering could serve anyone, flooded her mind. But neither did this simple seeker understand then, nor does she now.
Of course, medical science gained. The horror was still with her, as it was then, when she learned that the medical specialists knew, and had known, before so many surgical intrusions … Why did they tell her that they had known it would come back again, and again, until it won? Why not just let him die in peace, in one piece?
“Stop!”
“What? and how?”
“Many more parents than you have grieved for loved ones.”
“Then, perhaps we’re each grieving for each other.”
“The living and the departed?”
“And for each other’s departed.”
“No.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, but do you?”
“The departed, or so-called, may be rejoicing while the so-called living are grieving.”
“Could you rejoice while those you left behind were not?”
“There are traditions where rejoicing and celebration replace morbid funerals.”
“Yes.”
“But surely that could, in many situations, be no more than fulfilling societal expectations, while grieving was accepted as a personal and private affair.”
“Private grieving can also be as fulfilling societal expectations.”
“Perhaps there’s a case for both ways, as in a time and a place to honor the life of the deceased, or so-called deceased.”
“Yes, and more.”
“More? What more?”
“Transforming our grieving into a tool of self-discovery.”
“How?”
“We can meditate on the effect the lives of those who are no longer with us in physical form still have on our lives. In this way we can practice turning our grieving into a search for understanding of the so-called mystery of life.”
“How?”
“Meditate with a focus; a focus on the value of our loved one’s life to us. Their life was a gift.”
“Then to meditate on the meaning of their gift of life?
“Yes.”
….
A simple seeker’s note to herself
I was so young, and so emotionally immature, and had never experienced such a painful situation before. I seemed to have expected that God would protect him.”
“God did protect him, and you.”
“From what?”
“From living in ignorance of life.”
“There must be an easier way.”
“An easier way to what?”
“To learn about life.”
“Did the experience affect your thinking?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“How?”
“I had believed in a loving God, even though so many unpleasant things seemed to be happening in the world around me.”
“And your child’s death changed that belief in a loving God?”
“Yes.”
“So, your belief in a loving God was conditional?”
“What does that mean?”
“It was easier to love God as long as your own loved ones were protected.”
“I guess.”
“Did the experience help you to feel at one with others who had also lost loved ones?”
“Yes, very much so.”
“Then it expanded your sense of self.”
“Where are you going with that?”
“Where might I be going?”
“We’re not isolated from others?”
“Yes.”
……..
Simple Seekers 