I Still Need to Believe

A simple seeker was meditating on the Kabbalah Tree of Life and its many individual and unique centers of energy, with each center representing a particular quality and/or type of psychic energy. Each of the energies contribute to the whole, and yet each are mutually dependent upon each other. Together they co-create an ever-higher level of consciousness for one and all, and for the one that they each are a part of.

It reminded her of the human body with its many interconnecting and mutually supportive networks of nerves, arteries, veins, blood circulation system, lymph system, digestive tract, respiratory system, and elimination system, with its built-in recycling system designed to reabsorb all that could be recycled to useful ends.

She had done primary studies in human physiology as preparation for one of her many would-be lifetime careers that never seemed to manifest. Each almost did, but for whatever reason became just one more anti-climax in her life dedicated to a search for stability.

“There is none.”

“Then why do I still need to believe?”

“What?”

“That some life work is waiting for me.”

“How many failures does it take?

“I don’t know.”

“You could ask me.”

“Yes, but how would I know that what you told me was so?”

“Trust.”

“In what? Or whom?”

“In yourself, to know what is so for you, at least while it is.”

…….

A simple seeker’s note to herself

“How to choose the path that is right for me?”

“You don’t choose the path. It chooses you.”

“How can it choose me?”

“The so-called path that you follow through life is no more than the trail you’ve left behind you, projected forward, unless …”

“Unless what?”

“Unless you become aware of the path that you’ve been creating, and then choose to create a future of your conscious choice.”

“Is it possible?”

“Yes.”

“What would it look like?”

“What would you like it to look like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes.”

………

Published by jeanw5

A Journal of a journey, with Spirit as my guide, using the wisdom of I Ching, an ancient explanation of change as a necessary part of life, to understand Life, and where, how, and why my life has developed as it has, and where do I go from here, and how, and why. My mission, purpose, or desire is to share my struggle toward and passion for enlightenment, without having a clear idea of what it will look like when I find it, and I intend to find it, sooner or later. Meanwhile I seem to be struggling toward enlightenment without a clear road map, unless Spirit, my constant companion (did He invite himself along, for laughs, perhaps?) is hiding it from me, for whatever reason. Vancouver, BC Canada is the only place I care to live, in this world. Perhaps it's not entirely by choice. My name is carved into a nearby sidewalk, as if to remind me where I belong. I am blessed to have Spirit as a teacher. Just ask him.

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