Simple Seekers

A simple seeker was slipping into a mood of overwhelming sorrow. Memories of her first child’s lost battle with a rare form of cancer, before he was old enough to understand what possible purpose his suffering could serve anyone, flooded her mind. But neither did this simple seeker understand then, nor does she now.

Of course, medical science gained. The horror was still with her, as it was then, when she learned that the medical specialists knew, and had known, before so many surgical intrusions … Why did they tell her that they had known it would come back again, and again, until it won? Why not just let him die in peace, in one piece?

“Stop!”

“What? and how?”

“Many more parents than you have grieved for loved ones.”

“Then, perhaps we’re each grieving for each other.”

“The living and the departed?”

“And for each other’s departed.”

“No.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, but do you?”

“The departed, or so-called, may be rejoicing while the so-called living are grieving.”

“Could you rejoice while those you left behind were not?”

“There are traditions where rejoicing and celebration replace morbid funerals.”

“Yes.”

“But surely that could, in many situations, be no more than fulfilling societal expectations, while grieving was accepted as a personal and private affair.”

“Private grieving can also be as fulfilling societal expectations.”

“Perhaps there’s a case for both ways, as in a time and a place to honor the life of the deceased, or so-called deceased.”

“Yes, and more.”

“More? What more?”

“Transforming our grieving into a tool of self-discovery.”

“How?”

“We can meditate on the effect the lives of those who are no longer with us in physical form still have on our lives. In this way we can practice turning our grieving into a search for understanding of the so-called mystery of life.”

“How?”

“Meditate with a focus; a focus on the value of our loved one’s life to us. Their life was a gift.”

“Then to meditate on the meaning of their gift of life?

“Yes.”

….

A simple seeker’s note to herself

I was so young, and so emotionally immature, and had never experienced such a painful situation before. I seemed to have expected that God would protect him.”

“God did protect him, and you.”

“From what?”

“From living in ignorance of life.”

“There must be an easier way.”

“An easier way to what?”

“To learn about life.”

“Did the experience affect your thinking?”

“Yes. Very much.”

“How?”

“I had believed in a loving God, even though so many unpleasant things seemed to be happening in the world around me.”

“And your child’s death changed that belief in a loving God?”

“Yes.”

“So, your belief in a loving God was conditional?”

“What does that mean?”

“It was easier to love God as long as your own loved ones were protected.”

“I guess.”

“Did the experience help you to feel at one with others who had also lost loved ones?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“Then it expanded your sense of self.”

“Where are you going with that?”

“Where might I be going?”

“We’re not isolated from others?”

“Yes.”

……..

A simple seeker was meditating on the seemingly separate realities of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

“Or past, present, and future?”

“Yes.”

“Why seemingly separate?”

“You know why.”

“Yes, but do you?”

“Yes. They are continuously and seamlessly woven together.”

“What if I suggested that they each exist within the others, at all times and in all places?”

“I would find that possibility …”

“It’s more than a possibility.”

“Then I would still find it difficult to accept.”

“But not impossible?”

“How can I know what is possible?”

“You could ask me.”

“Yes, but your answer might be designed to test my willingness to accept whatever you might tell me.”

“Yes.”

…….

A simple seeker’s note to herself

Can yesterday, today, and tomorrow, each contain each of the others?

“Yes. It’s necessarily so.”

“How can that be?”

“Yesterday had a tomorrow, which is today. Tomorrow will have a yesterday, which also is today.”

“It seems like a cyclic movement.”

“How so?”

“As the seasons.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Seasons take turns in a specific order, and are unique in their weather patterns.”

“So, yesterday, today, and tomorrow are just terms we use to describe passing time?”

“Yes.”

…….

“Do you know what the Tarot Hermit card means?”

“I seem to relate to it.”

“In what way?”

“As a solitary seeker.”

“How can you consider yourself to be solitary while I’m in your life?”

“It’s possible to be alone in a crowd.”

“We are not a crowd.”

“What difference does it make?”

“To what?”

“Aloneness in thought.”

“What about aloneness in emotion?”

“What about it?”

“If we can feel alone in thought ..”

“You slipped ‘feel’ in.”

“Yes. They each are as one of two sides of the same reality.”

“The reality of ..?”

“Our state of mind.”

“I sense ego coming into the picture.”

“Yes. Ego is the central mover and pusher of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. We can’t think, do, or feel anything without our individual life force, ego.”

“There may be thousands, and perhaps tens of thousands, who don’t seem to be aware of this reality.”

“This suggests that you are aware.”

“Yes, but I have no power of persuasion to inspire others to shake off the illusion of ego as being something they can function without, and still be able to live in the physical world, beyond the control of some guru who is more aware than they are.”

“Yes. They would be as slaves.”

“Perhaps they are, now.”

“Yes.”

………

A simple seeker’s note to herself

How did Spirit manage to move from discussing the Tarot card of The Hermit to talking about Ego? How would they relate to each other, I wonder?

“What is the Hermit doing?”

“He’s moving away from some place, or someone.”

“Why?”

“How am I supposed to know why?”

“Everyone knows why.”

“They do?”

“Yes.”

“Please explain.”

“What?”

“What everyone knows, and I don’t seem to.”

“Perhaps you know more than you’re willing to accept knowing.”

“Such as …?”

“Such as a feeling of separation from some other people, and/or other places, and a need to move on.”

“What has that to do with Ego?”

“Everything.”

“Everything?

“Everything.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We can allow ourselves to believe that we fit into a particular situation and/or relationship until it begins to feel uncomfortable, and we begin to realize that it never was so. It was all an illusion. Our ego needs let us believe a lie.”

“And now, there’s nothing to say except good-bye?”

“It’s too late, even for that.”

“So, we just walk away?”

“Yes.”

………

Spirit was moving too fast, again, in His explanation of the meaning behind the symbolic language of the Kabbalah Tree of Life, and the Ladder of Light, which contains several trees, within or on the ladder. The books generally refer to five trees, but Spirit tells me there are many more than five times five.

Understanding symbology is not one of this simple seeker’s strongest attributes. I am totally over my head, and yet I cannot let go of the need to understand. I seem to sense a deeper than life, if that is possible, meaning behind the images that float through my mind as my spirit teacher (or is He my personality number two?) describes the interrelationship of qualities, that He tells me, we each possess, and/or are.

“Our awareness expands and rises up the Pillar of Consciousness, much as mercury rises. It is a Law of Life that happens, or it does not, and it does, slowly or more slowly. Life experiences introduce us to the qualities of thoughts and emotions, such as justice and mercy, which energies are represented on the Tree of Life. We must learn to integrate and blend them into our own being, in such a way that brings harmony between them.

The term balance is often used to describe this state of harmony, but this term is often misunderstood in our culture, to mean equality. Harmony, at least in this instance, is not a weighing of one energy against another. Each serves its own role in contributing to deeper awareness and acceptance of Life’s purpose.”

“Which is?”

“We will save that for another time.”

……..

A simple seeker’s note to herself

What did I learn about harmony?

“Perhaps you learned that you still have much to learn about Life.”

“That’s for sure, but I mean about the lesson.”

“Did you get a clearer idea about harmony?”

“Yes. It doesn’t require equality.”

“There is no equality.”

“Then what does it mean to be equal before the law?”

“It means that everyone is equally responsible for their actions.”

“Regardless of the crime or the age of the accused?”

“Yes.”

“How is that possible, when some crimes are greater or lesser than some others?”

“Correspondence then comes into play.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that we are each expected to act as well as we can, depending upon our ability to understand the rules of society.”

“From each according to her/his ability to understand?”

Yes.”

…….

A simple seeker was deeply engrossed in reading Tera Kathryn Collin’s “The Three Sisters of Tao.”

“It’s possible to read with much less intensity.”

“Perhaps, for some, if what they’re reading is for casual entertainment.”

“Even some serious students allow themselves some distance from the text.”

“Yes, it is as a text. With an important difference”

“And the difference is ..?”

“Personal experience.”

“How can you be sure?”

“My own personal experience supports the author’s general conception of bringing otherwise dry, ancient wisdom ..”

“Can ancient wisdom be dry?”

“Yes, if it’s presented in an overly intellectual manner.”

“So, ancient wisdom needs an infusion of emotion?”

“I think so.”

“And your own personal experience confirms the author’s truth?”

“What does that term mean?”

“What term?”

“The author’s truth.”

“What does it mean to you?”

“To me it means that the author is expressing her understanding of the subject she has chosen to share with her readers, an understanding she has developed from personal experience, as well as from dedicated study.”

“Is that all?”

“Is it possible for her truth to mean more?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“His truth.”

“The author is female.”

“Yes.”

………..

A simple seeker’s note to herself

Spirit didn’t seem impressed with my concern about ancient wisdom.

“Dry ancient wisdom.”

“I meant no offence.”

“What did you mean?”

“I sincerely meant that ancient wisdom was written and taught away back then, by and for people who lived a much less complicated life than most of us live, now. And, most people were much less educated then, than they are now.”

“How would that change wisdom?”

“It wouldn’t necessarily change the essence of the wisdom, but it would require that wisdom to be taught in a language, and for a people living today, if we’re meant to understand it. Also, it seemed to be taught only to a small group of men. Women were, or seem to have been, excluded.”

“Would including women change the wisdom?”

“It would certainly seem to require changing the gender-specific language.”

“Yes.”

“Does that mean that you agree with me?”

“Yes.”

……..

A simple seeker was admiring, in her mind (but where else could she admire anything?), a beautiful pink rose that someone had generously shared on Twitter. But, as beautiful as the flower was, something else was going on. Envy was slipping into the picture.

“What’s wrong with envy?”

“I want to be able to appreciate the skills of others without always wishing that I also possessed them.”

“Do you envy everyone’s skills?”

“No, just those that I wish I also possessed.”

“Why don’t you possess the skills you admire?”

“Some people have more natural talent than do some others.”

“Some people may be unaware of what so-called natural talents they do possess.”

“It isn’t possible for me to develop all of the talents that I admire in other people.”

“Have you tried?”

“There would never be enough time for that, and ..”

“Yes. It would pull you away from what you are now doing well, or might, with a little more effort.”

“How would that protect me from envy?”

“Nothing can protect you from envy.”

“Why?”

“Envy in its the most sincere form is a recognition of, and an inspiration toward, excellence.. We each, at least to some extent, aspire toward higher levels of personal skills. Envy is seeing in others what we want for ourselves. It can encourage us.”

“Or discourage us?”

“No. An unhealthy mind would feel resentment, not discouragement.”

“How can we know the difference?”

“Experience teaches us. We know because we’ve experienced it, if we have.”

“And, if we haven’t?”

“Then we will, sooner or later.”

…….

A simple seeker’s note to herself

If experience is as a teacher, then what did my envy of the beautiful rose teach me?

“Perhaps you learned that we can’t have it both ways. You may have wished that you could provide roses with what they need plenty of, sunshine. And yet, you seem to feel more comfortable in shade.”

“Yes. even my little garden areas are too shady for roses to survive in, let alone thrive in.”

“We need to learn to accept what is, and what is not, possible with what we have. But, we can admire, and even envy, what others have, without wishing to change our life situation with theirs.”

“Yes, I very much enjoy my little shady patio, and even my small and shady garden areas. I’d like more sunlight for them, and yet the trees are so beautiful. Perhaps I need to learn to appreciate more than I do, what I have. My plants do their best to adapt to what I can offer them. Let others grow roses, and I’ll try to admire them without feeling too envious.”

“A good idea.”

…………..

A simple seeker was puzzled by the seemingly contradictory and mutually exclusive (from her, albeit limited understanding), terms of evolutionary and Buddhism rolled in together, in something she had been reading.

“What seems to be the problem?”

“Buddhism and evolution together?”

“Everything is together.”

“But, spirituality should be forever.”

“It is.”

“But not necessarily as it was or might yet be?”

“Exactly.”

“Then, how can anyone ..?”

“Which anyone?”

“This anyone. Me. How can I hope to ever understand something that keeps developing, when it isn’t what it once was, and in the future may not be what it is, now? I need stability.”

“There isn’t any.”

“Then, what is there to hold onto?”

“In what way?”

“In thinking.”

“You could try holding onto the concept of endless change.”

“That would be easy if I was looking out from a high window, at traffic below.”

“We are doing just that.”

………..

A simple seeker’s note to herself

I wonder what Spirit meant by saying that we’re looking down from a high window?

“Whether we’re looking down or back, it’s the same. Distance allows for a wider perspective than does a close-up view. Evolution is change, and everything, including all relationships and all situations, evolve. Buddhism is not as it once was, nor as it might yet become. And yet, it has been, is now, and in spite of possible future changes or adaptations, may still be Buddhism, without necessarily losing any of its original value. We dress differently than our distant ancestors dressed, and even now we dress differently for weather conditions or social events, and yet we still dress, more and/or less.”

“So, the lesson is to try to see beyond form?”

“Yes.”

………….

A simple seeker was meditating on the concept of emptiness.

“What would it look like?”

“It wouldn’t look like anything.”

“What do you think emptiness means to a spiritual seeker, such as yourself.”

“Without form.”

“What is without form?”

“Potential.”

“What potential?”

“Any and all.”

“Where does this emptiness, which is potential, exist?”

“Perhaps wherever there is no form.”

“Where is there no form?”

“You’re leading me somewhere.”

“Where might I be leading you?”

“To asking you to please explain what it’s all about.”

“Yes.”

“Please explain.”

“What?”

“Where emptiness is, and what it might look like if I could recognize it.”

“Emptiness and nothingness are never empty nor nothing. They are potential, as is everything and everyone.”

“Then we each have a never-ending potential?”

“To what?”

“To be and do”

“To be and do what?”

“To become.”

“To become what?”

“More aware.”

“Of what?”

“Of a slippery slope of enquiry.”

“Yes.”

……….

A simple seeker’s note to herself

I’m beginning to become more aware of sometimes being pulled into a discussion with Spirit, and perhaps with some others, that’s over my head.

“Of what?”

“Of everything.”

“How is that possible?”

“How might it be possible?”

“With practice.”

“Yes, and with intent.”

“Intent?”

“Yes, with intent to become more aware.”

“Aware of what?”

“Of why things seem to be the way they are.”

“What things?”

“Relationships between people, places, and things.”

“Yes. The problem is that it could require more mental energy than I possess.”

“Mental muscles, as do physical muscles, develop with use.”

………..

A simple seeker was meditating on a card she had pulled randomly from her Tarot deck, a lone figure with a lantern.

“Do you know what lived experience The Hermit card expresses?”

“I seem to relate to it.”

“In what way?”

“As a solitary seeker.”

“How can you consider yourself to be solitary while I’m part of your life?”

“It’s possible to be alone in a crowd.”

“We’re not a crowd.”

“What difference does it make?”

“To what?”

“Aloneness in thought.”

“What about aloneness in emotion.”

“What about it?”

“If you can feel alone in thought ..”

“You slipped “feel” in.”

“Yes, to prove a point.”

“That thoughts aren’t isolated from emotions?”

“Yes. They each are as one of two sides of the same reality.”

“The reality of ..?”

“Our state of mind.”

“I sense ego coming into the picture.”

“Yes. Ego is the central mover and pusher of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. We can’t do or even feel anything without our individual life force – ego.”

“There may be thousands, and perhaps tens of thousands of people who don’t seem to be aware of this reality.”

“This” suggests that you’re aware.”

“Yes, but I have no power of persuasion to inspire others to shake off the illusion of ego as being something they can function without, and still be able to live in the physical world, as an individual. beyond the control of some guru more aware than they are.”

“Yes. They’d be as slaves.”

“Perhaps they are, now.”

“Yes.”

……..

A simple seeker’s note to herself

A sudden thought re The Hermit. Spirit may have caused my hand to pull that card.

“Why?”

“To help me understand that we each move through life alone, at least in some way.”

“In what way?”

“Nobody can live our life for us.”

“Personal responsibility?”

“Yes. It’s unavoidable, I guess.”

“Yes.”

……….